Role Play

I'm not really inspired to write but I want to keep this regular. The whole training my mind thing I was rambling about earlier. I wasn't very productive today aside from a 5 mile run. I went through my town and noticed changes that I don't normally notice when I drive. Charming how life goes on.

I was intrigued by something my father's friend spoke about yesterday. In the motherland, his family and his brother's family live together along with his mother. The traditional extended family scenario which I think is increasingly rare in urban areas and among the upper classes. I've found that extended families live together for sake of economic efficiency but my dad's friend's family lives in such a situation out of preference. I can't believe they all live together and haven't killed each other yet. It's difficult enough for my own immediate family to manage a day in each other's company without someone snapping. My extended family in the States, well let's just say years go by without a meeting despite living within 20 minutes drive from one another. I'm close with my cousin but that's of our own accord. We call each other and make plans but I don't see my uncles much or other cousins for that matter. In fact, five of my mother's six brothers and sisters live within a 30 mile radius but I only see one of them every two weeks so. They have issues though, so I'm not too bothered.

What I gleaned from chatting with my father's friend was that there's a hierarchy in place in his household. In an earlier post I alluded to my feelings on men and women being different and my thoughts on this subject are clarified when I think of the kind of family I want. In my dad's friend's house, what his mother says goes. Even if he knows she's not being fair he doesn't argue. The wives are meant to handle the day to day running of the household, what to prepare for dinner and so forth but his mother is the head of the family. When his father was alive, that was his role. After that, my dad's friend is in charge and manages the business end. He works with his brother and they're very close, that can be easily observed within five minutes of sharing their company.

I honestly believe such a structure is necessary. I know I'm going against what Western women have worked so hard to claim as fundamental women's rights, but even a cursory glance at the history of contemporary feminism reveals that it is such a broad and varied topic. I really can't relate to this mentality that men and women are equal. Quite simply, men and women are not equal. I don't think an accurate comparison of men and women can be conducted, they have different roles, needs and constitutions. This isn't to say that I think women are weak and men are strong, they are just, well different. My boyfriend, heretofore referred to as the ape, is an extraordinarily strong personality. That is probably what I find most attractive about him. (Aside from his dashing good looks, of course.) He is very adept at making decisions and very confident. Not the normal kind of confidence that girls generally find attractive - the strut and indifference, but this is confidence that comes from humility. I have no idea if that makes sense. Anyway, I look forward to building a life with him inshallah because we are aligned and balance each other. This isn't to say I'm not confident or indecisive or whatever other opposites to his characteristics, but we each bring something slightly different and sometimes the same. I know this isn't making any sense but just go with me. I guess what I think stabilises us is that he wants to be my husband and I want to be his wife. I don't want to be his husband and he doesn't want to be my wife. Now, what is a husband and what is a wife? There you go, have fun with that.