A quick one in the morning

I missed my train and hell if I'm standing in this outdoor sauna for a second longer than I have to. Another day of frizzy, stinky and sticky Manhattan blocks. Not a problem. Job prospects are interesting but I have to be smart and not get stuck in shit again. My connections are turning out to know less than I do about where the 'best' place to be is, and instead are trying to woo me to marketing. Marketing my ass. Though who better to know what people want and need than the apple? No one, I say. Time to step it up a notch and market the apple. Hopefully I'll double my salary, get a place on the waterfront and a dolphin grey S4. Then my life will be perfect.

The thing about this blog is, that I never really got what I wanted out of it. You may say that I can only expect to get out what I put in, but that's kaak. Okay, maybe you have a point. I think it may be my relationship that may be killing me. How do you cope when you know the best thing in your life is going to be the demise of all that is you? How melodramatic. You all have been silent on the mating part of your lives, and I wonder if there's something to that. There's always a chance he'll stumble upon this and that will be the end of me. But then, if he hasn't already, who's to say he will? Maybe subconsciously, I want him to read this because I can't say what I need to and sometimes even want to. Can't bring myself to do it directly so instead, like a coward, I write this blog as an answer to my problems. Onwards and upwards, I say.

update

So I'm on the hunt for a new job. For something that's going to require blood and sweat and that's going to reward me very handsomely. I don't care anymore about the ideals of justice.. it's a bunch of crap. There is no such thing. Ultimately, all there is to settle, have a few babies, raise them to be the best human beings possible by teaching them the very ideals that have become almost laughable in my late age of 23. Then they'll become disillusioned and start the cycle over again. Forget justice, there is no such thing. There are and will always be 9 year old kids working in sweatshops. There are and will always be 9 year old girls and boys being traded like animals for sex. The filthy rich leaders driving Maybachs down dusty streets lined with beggars who, when they were children, were kidnapped and intentionally disfigured to invoke pity. The shrinking middle class trying to cope with the shrinking flow of cash. The fake boobs and premature balding Jones living next door. No, there's no such thing. The withering old bloke breaking his back in 40C heat will die on a straw mat while I drive by in an air conditioned car, to an air conditioned home and strive to maintain ultimate control over my climate. That's all there is. Justice is nowhere to be seen in this bubble.