I must say that I was impressed by Kerry. I'm not particularly fond of him but he definitely did well in the debate. He speaks like a statesman. His responses were direct and complete given the time constraints. Bush on the other hand... well I think Yale should strip him of his degree to maintain some semblance of high standards.
I know I shouldn't make fun of people's accents and some words are difficult to pronounce, but you can learn. Make the effort, at least. If none of the above prove reasonable for your own capabilities, please don't embarrass us by repeating the words over and over again.
Mooolahs? Viladimir? Nukular?
Despite the blatant bashing that took place under Jim Lehrer's watch, I have very little faith in the American people. I've already gone into my befuddlement at the prospect of any rational being supporting Bush so there's no need to rehash that here. I know that people still think that Bush has done well by them. They are even, dare I say proud of Bush. But then these are the same people who think that 'Axis of Evil' is a legitimate term; that al-Qa'ida has a tangible presence that can be eventually eliminated by a 'war on terror'; that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11; that this country is safer than it was 3 years ago; and that Reality TV is entertaining.
Thursday, September 30
Wednesday, September 29
Mango Mousse
I just ran 4 miles in 30 minutes. Granted it was on a treadmill, but still a personal best. I don't really know how I did it, I wasn't paying attention to numbers, just pushing a little harder every five minutes or so. I hope this atones for my mango mousse breakfast... and lunch.
Tuesday, September 28
truthout editorial
I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain - I don't need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation.
- George W. Bush, Washington Post, 11-19-02
Fish. Barrel. Boom.
By Wiliam Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t Perspective
I don't know why I find these relevant articles after I've written. This one is a bit shocking. Admittedly, it focuses on Republicans and I'm sure there are innumerable gems if one scrutinises liberal rhetoric but it is an entertaining read nonetheless.
- George W. Bush, Washington Post, 11-19-02
Fish. Barrel. Boom.
By Wiliam Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t Perspective
I don't know why I find these relevant articles after I've written. This one is a bit shocking. Admittedly, it focuses on Republicans and I'm sure there are innumerable gems if one scrutinises liberal rhetoric but it is an entertaining read nonetheless.
OBL
I think Osama bin Laden will be either captured or killed before the November elections. Taking all wagers.
Just the facts
I've been distressed by the upcoming election in the States. I've wanted to flesh out my thoughts but I don't know how to start the diatribe that is sure to come. I really can't understand how any literate, rational person can support Bush. It is beyond me to try to comprehend which of the admirable values I may observe in a person may lead him to support George W. Bush. The prospect would be comical if Bush wasn't such a tragedy.
Admittedly, I am very easily written off as biased due to my own background but I consider myself fairly educated and I have a great deal of admiration for the US political system and the potential it offers to anyone with the right vision and work ethic. Only in this country can a refugee with no transferrable qualifications go from driving a taxi to becoming a presidentially appointed United States Ambassador. Only in this country can a first-generation immigrant build a multi-million dollar company by making deliveries from his own garage with an old station wagon and a hand-truck. I remain in awe of the opportunities offered to anyone willing to work hard. No matter what the criticisms are of this country, the economic, social and political opportunities offered to not only its citizens, but green card holders and even illegal immigrants remain unsurpassed. Why else would people risk life and limb to come here?
Back to Bush. I don't understand how his policies can be seen as anything but racist. In April of this year, he made a statement during a press conference with Canadian Prime Minister Martin that, to me, was extremely revealing of his personal beliefs about people, in his words, "whose skins... are a different color than white". The full text of the conference can be read here. It should be noted that Bush was responding to a question on what he wanted Canada to do in Iraq, both diplomatically and militarily.The statement that I'm interested in was part of a longer answer and his little pearls of wisdom are worth quoting here:
(Martin then remarked: I've got to say, though, I really do like sharing a press conference with you. You answer those questions perfectly.) Ha ha ha.
Now, I know that Bush says that he rejects the notion that non-white people are capable of self-government. But the fact that he said it reveals that there exists such a distinction in his mind. It's almost as if he's sharing a new personal discovery. I don't know how to adequately express my disgust at this statement. I am always interested in the language people use to express themselves. Obviously, such obvservations have their limitations but generally, especially in cases like this, the language someone chooses to use is revealing of what is not said. In cases like this, what is not said is more imporatnt than what is actually said. I actually cannot fully understand what was going through Bush's head when he said this because it is so ridiculous on many levels. I know the argument I just presented is incomplete, but I definitely think that something is there.
A more direct observation may be that Bush has disregarded ethnic and cultural diversity within the US. I think it is safe to assume that Americans practice self-government. (With the exception of a few Floridians.) Doesn't that in itself render Bush's statement unncessary? According to the CIA World Factbook, the US Population is approximately 290 million of which 77% are ethnically defined as 'white'. The remaing 23% are black, Asian, American-Indian, native Alaskan, native Hawaiian, Pacific Islanders or 'other'. So, if Americans are indeed self-governing, isn't that proof in itself that non-white people are capable of doing so? Furthermore, while I don't have numbers on this, there is no mutual exclusivity of being white and being Muslim. It is indeed possible to be both white and Muslim.
I know that Bush's comment was probably off-the-cuff, or whatever that means. I should give the poor guy a break. But I'm supposed to respect him as a leader? I don't think this was simply one of his signature bumbles, he was making a point. I'm also fairly certain that all those people driving around with Bush/Cheney '04 bumper stickers have no idea that he said this, but equally certain that if they did, they wouldn't pick up on the implications of his statement. Actually, I'd be interested to learn what those people know that would cause them to wear their support on their 'sleeve'.
This post is pretty long, and I know that the kind of people I would hope to influence with this probably don't have the attention span to read this far. To the people nodding your heads, well, you didn't need to read this to know what you already know. I am still frustrated that I haven't been able to express exactly what it is that bothers me about this. You'll hear from me when I do.
Admittedly, I am very easily written off as biased due to my own background but I consider myself fairly educated and I have a great deal of admiration for the US political system and the potential it offers to anyone with the right vision and work ethic. Only in this country can a refugee with no transferrable qualifications go from driving a taxi to becoming a presidentially appointed United States Ambassador. Only in this country can a first-generation immigrant build a multi-million dollar company by making deliveries from his own garage with an old station wagon and a hand-truck. I remain in awe of the opportunities offered to anyone willing to work hard. No matter what the criticisms are of this country, the economic, social and political opportunities offered to not only its citizens, but green card holders and even illegal immigrants remain unsurpassed. Why else would people risk life and limb to come here?
Back to Bush. I don't understand how his policies can be seen as anything but racist. In April of this year, he made a statement during a press conference with Canadian Prime Minister Martin that, to me, was extremely revealing of his personal beliefs about people, in his words, "whose skins... are a different color than white". The full text of the conference can be read here. It should be noted that Bush was responding to a question on what he wanted Canada to do in Iraq, both diplomatically and militarily.The statement that I'm interested in was part of a longer answer and his little pearls of wisdom are worth quoting here:
There's a lot of people in the world who don't believe that people whose skin color may not be the same as ours can be free and self-govern. I reject that. I reject that strongly. I believe that people who practice the Muslim faith can self-govern. I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily -- are a different color than white can self-govern.
(Martin then remarked: I've got to say, though, I really do like sharing a press conference with you. You answer those questions perfectly.) Ha ha ha.
Now, I know that Bush says that he rejects the notion that non-white people are capable of self-government. But the fact that he said it reveals that there exists such a distinction in his mind. It's almost as if he's sharing a new personal discovery. I don't know how to adequately express my disgust at this statement. I am always interested in the language people use to express themselves. Obviously, such obvservations have their limitations but generally, especially in cases like this, the language someone chooses to use is revealing of what is not said. In cases like this, what is not said is more imporatnt than what is actually said. I actually cannot fully understand what was going through Bush's head when he said this because it is so ridiculous on many levels. I know the argument I just presented is incomplete, but I definitely think that something is there.
A more direct observation may be that Bush has disregarded ethnic and cultural diversity within the US. I think it is safe to assume that Americans practice self-government. (With the exception of a few Floridians.) Doesn't that in itself render Bush's statement unncessary? According to the CIA World Factbook, the US Population is approximately 290 million of which 77% are ethnically defined as 'white'. The remaing 23% are black, Asian, American-Indian, native Alaskan, native Hawaiian, Pacific Islanders or 'other'. So, if Americans are indeed self-governing, isn't that proof in itself that non-white people are capable of doing so? Furthermore, while I don't have numbers on this, there is no mutual exclusivity of being white and being Muslim. It is indeed possible to be both white and Muslim.
I know that Bush's comment was probably off-the-cuff, or whatever that means. I should give the poor guy a break. But I'm supposed to respect him as a leader? I don't think this was simply one of his signature bumbles, he was making a point. I'm also fairly certain that all those people driving around with Bush/Cheney '04 bumper stickers have no idea that he said this, but equally certain that if they did, they wouldn't pick up on the implications of his statement. Actually, I'd be interested to learn what those people know that would cause them to wear their support on their 'sleeve'.
This post is pretty long, and I know that the kind of people I would hope to influence with this probably don't have the attention span to read this far. To the people nodding your heads, well, you didn't need to read this to know what you already know. I am still frustrated that I haven't been able to express exactly what it is that bothers me about this. You'll hear from me when I do.
Choices
Don't have anything interesting to share. I did do some intervals on the bike at the gym, ate well and documented everything. I also wrote about 1000 words on the dissertation and have come to the conclusion I have no interest whatsoever in finishing it. I've learned everything I can about the topic and don't expect to gain much by finishing it. Oh yea, the degree. Maybe I can do a class by distance and finish it off but I am itching to move on. Job prospects look good, hopefully something concrete by the end of the week Insh'Allah.
I'm watching the beginnings of a painful divorce from a short distance. It is painful because the issue is something that can be resolved and there is a five year old girl in the middle. Actually it's really stupid. I'm tired of listening to people not knowing what they want, or worse, knowing what they want but not making the decisions to get what they want. Why is it so difficult to take a stand when there is little to lose and everything to gain?
I'm watching the beginnings of a painful divorce from a short distance. It is painful because the issue is something that can be resolved and there is a five year old girl in the middle. Actually it's really stupid. I'm tired of listening to people not knowing what they want, or worse, knowing what they want but not making the decisions to get what they want. Why is it so difficult to take a stand when there is little to lose and everything to gain?
Monday, September 27
Trust in me
I accidentally left CNN on while I was preparing a meal and was surprised to hear the word "trust" repeated about fifteen times while they were selling the quality of their news coverage. I'm not sure if this is something new, but I was surprised that they seemed to be practically begging viewers to trust them as a news source. When someone asks for my trust, my first instinct is to be sceptical. I used to watch CNN as a last resort for news, and they have some interesting shows but I generally try to avoid the channel if possible. Their new approach is almost comical, yet indicative of the increasing need for news sources to prove they are worthy sources of information. I, for one, wouldn't trust CNN as far as I could throw 'them'.
I just came across this article on US media after writing the above note.
I just came across this article on US media after writing the above note.
Enough
Allright, I am starting a new phase today. Enough complacency - my fitness routine is about to change. My eating is definitely about to change. My work ethic as well. Running isn't enough to achieve my fitness goals. I am cardiovascularly fit, I can run at a decent pace for a long period of time and my heart rate remains fairly moderate, but that is not enough. I need to address the fat, which requires that I do high intensity intervals. I definitely need to stop eating like I have been. I know I eat much better on my own than when I am home where there is so much food (mash'allah) it is so easy to fall off-track. What I am most ashamed of, however, is the state of my dissertation. I am better than this and I need to stop thinking like a lazy slob. Enough is enough is enough.
The Two Towers
Had one of my signature splitting headaches today. I went for a late brunch with my family in Jersey City and then walked around Newport for a bit. If this position works out, I may move into an apartment there as it is such a convenient commute to the city. But then I will have to cook which is probably on par with the commute from home. Hmm.. cook or commute? How about finding employment first?
Walking along the Hudson River, Newport is situated directly across the water from Lower Manhattan; more specifically, directly across from the World Financial Center which was once connected to the World Trade Center. For me, the hole left by the twin towers is still haunting as it is so easy to lose sight of how massive they really were. The buildings of the surroundng financial district are huge skyscrapers by any standard but the twin towers made them look like normal-sized office buildings in comparison. Anyway, the city has never been the same for me or my family. Fortunately, we don't personally know anyone who died in the tragedy but know many people who were able to escape. Fourteen students in my sister's small school lost a parent. My father was speaking to someone in one of the buildings before and while the first plane hit and their conversation was abruptly cut off, leaving him to discover why the phones were cut that morning by watching the events unfold on CNN. There remains a great sense of loss not only in my community, but in the city in general. I don't mean to go into personal accounts and connections to 9.11, mostly because the more I hear people speak about knowing so-and-so who escaped or died or who was in close proximity the more it seems like these are personal glory tales. To me, these exchanges trivialize the lives that were lost and the tragedy itself. I also don't buy into the media tributes with their digitized American flag logos.
It was a tragedy, yes. It devastated many families and communities. People throughout the world are forced to live with this kind of fear and tragedy day in and day out. Events like these don't occur in isolation, and just because certain people want to view history selectively, doesn't make it so. I look at the the space where the twin towers once stood and feel a personal loss because their presence served as a backdrop to most of my life. The magnitude of loss of life is something that remains intangible to me. More than this, I am aware of the massive change that the event catalysed. The changes not only in domestic life here, but throughout the world. I have dealt with death, and continue to do so, and have come to accept it as a part of life. I am only beginning to fathom the complexities of justice.
Walking along the Hudson River, Newport is situated directly across the water from Lower Manhattan; more specifically, directly across from the World Financial Center which was once connected to the World Trade Center. For me, the hole left by the twin towers is still haunting as it is so easy to lose sight of how massive they really were. The buildings of the surroundng financial district are huge skyscrapers by any standard but the twin towers made them look like normal-sized office buildings in comparison. Anyway, the city has never been the same for me or my family. Fortunately, we don't personally know anyone who died in the tragedy but know many people who were able to escape. Fourteen students in my sister's small school lost a parent. My father was speaking to someone in one of the buildings before and while the first plane hit and their conversation was abruptly cut off, leaving him to discover why the phones were cut that morning by watching the events unfold on CNN. There remains a great sense of loss not only in my community, but in the city in general. I don't mean to go into personal accounts and connections to 9.11, mostly because the more I hear people speak about knowing so-and-so who escaped or died or who was in close proximity the more it seems like these are personal glory tales. To me, these exchanges trivialize the lives that were lost and the tragedy itself. I also don't buy into the media tributes with their digitized American flag logos.
It was a tragedy, yes. It devastated many families and communities. People throughout the world are forced to live with this kind of fear and tragedy day in and day out. Events like these don't occur in isolation, and just because certain people want to view history selectively, doesn't make it so. I look at the the space where the twin towers once stood and feel a personal loss because their presence served as a backdrop to most of my life. The magnitude of loss of life is something that remains intangible to me. More than this, I am aware of the massive change that the event catalysed. The changes not only in domestic life here, but throughout the world. I have dealt with death, and continue to do so, and have come to accept it as a part of life. I am only beginning to fathom the complexities of justice.
Sunday, September 26
Money
I went to a fundraiser tonight for a development project back in the motherland. This was a black tie event in a beautiful venue and, from what I gathered, raised a great deal of money. But no one was really there for the cause. I wasn't - my very close family friends are in charge of the organisation and basically insisted that we go. It was entertaining to say the least, but I'm not a fan of such events. An excuse for wealthy people to get together, donate some money to support their own status and maybe even assuage their collective conscience. If they really cared, there are so many more effective and efficient ways to make a difference for the very same cause. I shouldn't complain too loudly, I was there.
There was another event in the city earlier in the week where they raised closer to a million. I have done some work with the organisation that sponsored it in conjunction with the UNDP and remember the chairman being heavily criticised for high profile events. All said and done, he managed to consistently raise quite a bit of money from private donors. Despite my criticisms, I am stuck in a bit of a conundrum. I know these resources wouldn't be available if these events didn't solicit donations from high-income donors. I guess I just don't like the way it is done. Probably my own hangup, or 'chip' as my father would say, but why the need for such an extravagant affair? People drop upwards of $250 per ticket, of which about 60% is used just to cover costs. I know I'm stuck, and I'm too tired to go into this. My feet hurt because of my shoes and my legs are sore from my run in the morning. I'm hungry because the food was horrible and my head hurts because .. well because. Peace.
There was another event in the city earlier in the week where they raised closer to a million. I have done some work with the organisation that sponsored it in conjunction with the UNDP and remember the chairman being heavily criticised for high profile events. All said and done, he managed to consistently raise quite a bit of money from private donors. Despite my criticisms, I am stuck in a bit of a conundrum. I know these resources wouldn't be available if these events didn't solicit donations from high-income donors. I guess I just don't like the way it is done. Probably my own hangup, or 'chip' as my father would say, but why the need for such an extravagant affair? People drop upwards of $250 per ticket, of which about 60% is used just to cover costs. I know I'm stuck, and I'm too tired to go into this. My feet hurt because of my shoes and my legs are sore from my run in the morning. I'm hungry because the food was horrible and my head hurts because .. well because. Peace.
Saturday, September 25
Off the Richter Scale
Sometimes when I feel like the jiggle in my thighs may be responsible for causing an earthquake of colossal magnitude, I receive an honest compliment from a disinterested stranger that puts things in perspective. That is what the world needs. Perspective.
Rotation
I watched the Whirling Dervishes perform a traditional Mevlevi Order Sufi ceremony, the Sema. I've seen the Dervishes before on a few occasions and must say that this experience was not as uplifting as it has been in the past. I have noticed a loss in my spiritual awareness in recent times and it is worrying. It is also my own fault for losing sight but upsetting nonetheless. In Sufism, there is a belief that everything is a different shape of God, a belief that has been fairly natural to me. I've always enjoyed this surreal feeling that used to be a normal occurrence in my day. I could especially count on this feeling when I used to go to Friday prayers at the UN. That was a truly international experience, seeing Muslims from all countries come together for prayer. A different person would lead prayers and speak every week, which was an experience in itself. Young and old would impart their interpretations and experiences, each making an individual contribution. My favourite was this older Arab gentleman who would sit and read from the Qur'an in the most melodic voice, I initialIy thought that someone was playing a recorded recitation over the speakers until I observed him reading. He would then lead prayers and speak briefly but with purpose. I watched Malaysians, Arabs, Pakistanis, Indians, Europeans, Indonesians, Algerians, Sudanese, Moroccans come stand next to each other, make room for each other and pray together and then eat and laugh together. If only.
Generally, the mosques here in the States are categorized along national lines: there are Egyptian mosques, Moroccan mosques, Pakistani mosques, Black Muslims' mosques, Turkish mosques, Albanian mosques, etc. I don't particularly like the Mosque I go to for Eid prayers but I enjoy the tradition of going. The Imam's talks are less than inspiring more often than not and are fairly typical of the blind leading the blind. My idea of faith is based upon actions and intentions rather than counting how many times your neighbour prayed. About the mosques, they are in relatively close proximity yet people drive out of their way to go to a mosque of their national affiliation. This is something that is simple enough to explain but difficult for me to understand. I am always fascinated to see the different ways Islam is practiced and I always make it a point to go and see a local Mosque whenever I travel. This isn't a difficult task when the majority of my travels are to Muslim countries. I went to the Muslim section of Beijing to discover a Mosque that was built during the 10th century; something that is remarkable considering Islam was only introduced in the 7th century. I will eventually scan the photos of this mosque and post them. The blend in Chinese and Islamic architecture and art creates something quite spectacular.
When I went to University, it was an eye-opening experience regarding my own relationship with Islam. I met Muslims from all different nationalities and learned a great deal about the religion and the defining impact of culture on the practice of faith. I quickly enrolled in classes on religion and discovered a great deal, and am left still sorting through the possibilities. I used to enjoy a connected feeling, which has not been so close as of late. My desire for this feeling may be written off as a need for security and to feel the presence of a higher power, but I enjoy it nonetheless. I suppose I would define my endeavour as seeking the organic base, or truths of the faith, distilled from cultural and social additions that have created distortion. This is not a unique quest, by the way. I think the academic definition is called fundamentalism. Rest assured, my intent is quite different from fundamentalists - I'm just looking to ask questions. I've dug quite a hole here, haven't I? Moving on.
Before the Dervishes began tonight, the organisers provided a brief explanation, which I can only paraphrase: rotations represent the foundations of life, that a secret turning in us makes the universe turn. I used to enjoy this recognition, this feeling of connectedness which would reveal itself in the form of chills or the urge to cry. Sometimes I would come across something in my day or in my thoughts which would send chills down my spine because, for a brief moment, the simple brilliance would reveal itself. It could be as simple as watching the ocean or as direct as hearing the shahada. I enjoy irony because no matter how irreconcilable or nonsensical something may be, I've found that that is only because I have missed something or there remains something that is yet to reveal itself for consideration. I was hoping for a return to this awareness tonight, but I now realise that it is not so simple. I will have to work harder to enjoy that comfort and will probably be so much more aware of what it means when I am able to reach it once more. Perhaps I am undergoing a rotation of my own.
Generally, the mosques here in the States are categorized along national lines: there are Egyptian mosques, Moroccan mosques, Pakistani mosques, Black Muslims' mosques, Turkish mosques, Albanian mosques, etc. I don't particularly like the Mosque I go to for Eid prayers but I enjoy the tradition of going. The Imam's talks are less than inspiring more often than not and are fairly typical of the blind leading the blind. My idea of faith is based upon actions and intentions rather than counting how many times your neighbour prayed. About the mosques, they are in relatively close proximity yet people drive out of their way to go to a mosque of their national affiliation. This is something that is simple enough to explain but difficult for me to understand. I am always fascinated to see the different ways Islam is practiced and I always make it a point to go and see a local Mosque whenever I travel. This isn't a difficult task when the majority of my travels are to Muslim countries. I went to the Muslim section of Beijing to discover a Mosque that was built during the 10th century; something that is remarkable considering Islam was only introduced in the 7th century. I will eventually scan the photos of this mosque and post them. The blend in Chinese and Islamic architecture and art creates something quite spectacular.
When I went to University, it was an eye-opening experience regarding my own relationship with Islam. I met Muslims from all different nationalities and learned a great deal about the religion and the defining impact of culture on the practice of faith. I quickly enrolled in classes on religion and discovered a great deal, and am left still sorting through the possibilities. I used to enjoy a connected feeling, which has not been so close as of late. My desire for this feeling may be written off as a need for security and to feel the presence of a higher power, but I enjoy it nonetheless. I suppose I would define my endeavour as seeking the organic base, or truths of the faith, distilled from cultural and social additions that have created distortion. This is not a unique quest, by the way. I think the academic definition is called fundamentalism. Rest assured, my intent is quite different from fundamentalists - I'm just looking to ask questions. I've dug quite a hole here, haven't I? Moving on.
Before the Dervishes began tonight, the organisers provided a brief explanation, which I can only paraphrase: rotations represent the foundations of life, that a secret turning in us makes the universe turn. I used to enjoy this recognition, this feeling of connectedness which would reveal itself in the form of chills or the urge to cry. Sometimes I would come across something in my day or in my thoughts which would send chills down my spine because, for a brief moment, the simple brilliance would reveal itself. It could be as simple as watching the ocean or as direct as hearing the shahada. I enjoy irony because no matter how irreconcilable or nonsensical something may be, I've found that that is only because I have missed something or there remains something that is yet to reveal itself for consideration. I was hoping for a return to this awareness tonight, but I now realise that it is not so simple. I will have to work harder to enjoy that comfort and will probably be so much more aware of what it means when I am able to reach it once more. Perhaps I am undergoing a rotation of my own.
Thursday, September 23
Role Play
I'm not really inspired to write but I want to keep this regular. The whole training my mind thing I was rambling about earlier. I wasn't very productive today aside from a 5 mile run. I went through my town and noticed changes that I don't normally notice when I drive. Charming how life goes on.
I was intrigued by something my father's friend spoke about yesterday. In the motherland, his family and his brother's family live together along with his mother. The traditional extended family scenario which I think is increasingly rare in urban areas and among the upper classes. I've found that extended families live together for sake of economic efficiency but my dad's friend's family lives in such a situation out of preference. I can't believe they all live together and haven't killed each other yet. It's difficult enough for my own immediate family to manage a day in each other's company without someone snapping. My extended family in the States, well let's just say years go by without a meeting despite living within 20 minutes drive from one another. I'm close with my cousin but that's of our own accord. We call each other and make plans but I don't see my uncles much or other cousins for that matter. In fact, five of my mother's six brothers and sisters live within a 30 mile radius but I only see one of them every two weeks so. They have issues though, so I'm not too bothered.
What I gleaned from chatting with my father's friend was that there's a hierarchy in place in his household. In an earlier post I alluded to my feelings on men and women being different and my thoughts on this subject are clarified when I think of the kind of family I want. In my dad's friend's house, what his mother says goes. Even if he knows she's not being fair he doesn't argue. The wives are meant to handle the day to day running of the household, what to prepare for dinner and so forth but his mother is the head of the family. When his father was alive, that was his role. After that, my dad's friend is in charge and manages the business end. He works with his brother and they're very close, that can be easily observed within five minutes of sharing their company.
I honestly believe such a structure is necessary. I know I'm going against what Western women have worked so hard to claim as fundamental women's rights, but even a cursory glance at the history of contemporary feminism reveals that it is such a broad and varied topic. I really can't relate to this mentality that men and women are equal. Quite simply, men and women are not equal. I don't think an accurate comparison of men and women can be conducted, they have different roles, needs and constitutions. This isn't to say that I think women are weak and men are strong, they are just, well different. My boyfriend, heretofore referred to as the ape, is an extraordinarily strong personality. That is probably what I find most attractive about him. (Aside from his dashing good looks, of course.) He is very adept at making decisions and very confident. Not the normal kind of confidence that girls generally find attractive - the strut and indifference, but this is confidence that comes from humility. I have no idea if that makes sense. Anyway, I look forward to building a life with him inshallah because we are aligned and balance each other. This isn't to say I'm not confident or indecisive or whatever other opposites to his characteristics, but we each bring something slightly different and sometimes the same. I know this isn't making any sense but just go with me. I guess what I think stabilises us is that he wants to be my husband and I want to be his wife. I don't want to be his husband and he doesn't want to be my wife. Now, what is a husband and what is a wife? There you go, have fun with that.
I was intrigued by something my father's friend spoke about yesterday. In the motherland, his family and his brother's family live together along with his mother. The traditional extended family scenario which I think is increasingly rare in urban areas and among the upper classes. I've found that extended families live together for sake of economic efficiency but my dad's friend's family lives in such a situation out of preference. I can't believe they all live together and haven't killed each other yet. It's difficult enough for my own immediate family to manage a day in each other's company without someone snapping. My extended family in the States, well let's just say years go by without a meeting despite living within 20 minutes drive from one another. I'm close with my cousin but that's of our own accord. We call each other and make plans but I don't see my uncles much or other cousins for that matter. In fact, five of my mother's six brothers and sisters live within a 30 mile radius but I only see one of them every two weeks so. They have issues though, so I'm not too bothered.
What I gleaned from chatting with my father's friend was that there's a hierarchy in place in his household. In an earlier post I alluded to my feelings on men and women being different and my thoughts on this subject are clarified when I think of the kind of family I want. In my dad's friend's house, what his mother says goes. Even if he knows she's not being fair he doesn't argue. The wives are meant to handle the day to day running of the household, what to prepare for dinner and so forth but his mother is the head of the family. When his father was alive, that was his role. After that, my dad's friend is in charge and manages the business end. He works with his brother and they're very close, that can be easily observed within five minutes of sharing their company.
I honestly believe such a structure is necessary. I know I'm going against what Western women have worked so hard to claim as fundamental women's rights, but even a cursory glance at the history of contemporary feminism reveals that it is such a broad and varied topic. I really can't relate to this mentality that men and women are equal. Quite simply, men and women are not equal. I don't think an accurate comparison of men and women can be conducted, they have different roles, needs and constitutions. This isn't to say that I think women are weak and men are strong, they are just, well different. My boyfriend, heretofore referred to as the ape, is an extraordinarily strong personality. That is probably what I find most attractive about him. (Aside from his dashing good looks, of course.) He is very adept at making decisions and very confident. Not the normal kind of confidence that girls generally find attractive - the strut and indifference, but this is confidence that comes from humility. I have no idea if that makes sense. Anyway, I look forward to building a life with him inshallah because we are aligned and balance each other. This isn't to say I'm not confident or indecisive or whatever other opposites to his characteristics, but we each bring something slightly different and sometimes the same. I know this isn't making any sense but just go with me. I guess what I think stabilises us is that he wants to be my husband and I want to be his wife. I don't want to be his husband and he doesn't want to be my wife. Now, what is a husband and what is a wife? There you go, have fun with that.
Ah, the Irony
I am increasingly impressed by recently elected Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh. I watched his interview on The Charlie Rose Show and was really moved by his humble demeanor and his breadth of knowledge. When he was India's Finance Minister, he famously quoted Victor Hugo: "No power on Earth can stop an idea whose time has come." His interview was peppered with a great deal of literary quotes, and he spoke like a man with great reverence of history. In my opinion, the best thing a leader can do is learn from history and consider these lessons in taking fateful decisions.
Something that was discussed in the interview really struck me. Dr. Singh was born and raised in a village near Lahore, in what is now Pakistan. Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was born in Delhi. I don't quite know how to express my thoughts on this, but can only confirm my profound love of irony.
Something that was discussed in the interview really struck me. Dr. Singh was born and raised in a village near Lahore, in what is now Pakistan. Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was born in Delhi. I don't quite know how to express my thoughts on this, but can only confirm my profound love of irony.
Wednesday, September 22
Nelly
Furtado, of course. I really enjoy her music. I'm not enough of a musician to comment on this extensively, but I really love her voice. Even though she is a beady-eyed Canadian.
Lovely day today, everything is radiating colour and heat. This warmth is slipping away into another cold winter, going to enjoy it while I can. Maybe escape to the southern hemisphere this winter for a taste of sun in the midst of the December deep freeze.
Had a chat with Jenna yesterday, she's thinking of putting off school for another year and had a drink over the weekend. I crapped on her head, I'm sick of listening to this nonsense. I know I shouldn't be so self-righteous, but if she's not willing to make improvements on her situation, I'm over and out. I told her so and she almost started crying about needing people like me in her life. That surprised me because she might realize that I'm a voice of reason she doesn't take the advice on board. What she needs to do isn't difficult but she's making so many excuses. She doesn't think it's a big deal that she had a drink even though she knows the path that she follows when she has alcohol in her system. I'm sick of this, why bother with someone who doesn't respect herself enough to make even the smallest changes? One would be to stop going to bars. Another would be enrolling in at least one token class to start making inroads to her goal. She's not busy and she's not weak. She's just an idiot.
I've often received the criticism that I take myself too seriously. I read into things, I think about what people say. I can't imagine not doing what I do. My curiosity about people and places and systems forces me to ask questions and do tons of research. I suppose it's like a scientific process to discover the underlying thread that connects things, for lack of a better word. I've always enjoyed that, simplifying a process to discover underlying motivations. This isn't to say that I'm always asking annoying questions but if I am interested in something, I am very observant. I also have a short attention span. Not sure how to reconcile the two in this paragraph, but I'll leave you with - "Consistency is boring,"
Lovely day today, everything is radiating colour and heat. This warmth is slipping away into another cold winter, going to enjoy it while I can. Maybe escape to the southern hemisphere this winter for a taste of sun in the midst of the December deep freeze.
Had a chat with Jenna yesterday, she's thinking of putting off school for another year and had a drink over the weekend. I crapped on her head, I'm sick of listening to this nonsense. I know I shouldn't be so self-righteous, but if she's not willing to make improvements on her situation, I'm over and out. I told her so and she almost started crying about needing people like me in her life. That surprised me because she might realize that I'm a voice of reason she doesn't take the advice on board. What she needs to do isn't difficult but she's making so many excuses. She doesn't think it's a big deal that she had a drink even though she knows the path that she follows when she has alcohol in her system. I'm sick of this, why bother with someone who doesn't respect herself enough to make even the smallest changes? One would be to stop going to bars. Another would be enrolling in at least one token class to start making inroads to her goal. She's not busy and she's not weak. She's just an idiot.
I've often received the criticism that I take myself too seriously. I read into things, I think about what people say. I can't imagine not doing what I do. My curiosity about people and places and systems forces me to ask questions and do tons of research. I suppose it's like a scientific process to discover the underlying thread that connects things, for lack of a better word. I've always enjoyed that, simplifying a process to discover underlying motivations. This isn't to say that I'm always asking annoying questions but if I am interested in something, I am very observant. I also have a short attention span. Not sure how to reconcile the two in this paragraph, but I'll leave you with - "Consistency is boring,"
Tuesday, September 21
Uphill
I've noticed I'm increasingly dissatisfied with my writing. I know I've only just begun with this journal and it takes time for my writing to mature into relaying the concepts and emotions I want to relay, but I'm impatient. I often think things throughout my day that I consider especially remarkable and often arrive at conclusions that I know for a fact are not common or predictable. I always think that I should document my thoughts because I find them useful to jog my creativity. And frankly, I find them interesting. The problem is that when I sit down at my computer my mindset has been rattled and is so far removed from its original state that I am stuck trying to recall my earlier epiphany only to be left to seek with the remnants of a fading light. I'm not sure if this is normal or even natural, to have such short-term memory loss. I remember certain things to a perfect tee but othertimes, it's like I wasn't even there. I'm not that especially focused either, I often find myself tuning out of conversations that I should be taking very seriously. During my interview yesterday, I asked a question that provoked my interviewer into providing useful information but I swear I didn't hear a word he said. I knew I needed to absorb the information but it floated on by me while I was working out a brain-teaser I had read the night before. My mind is lazy and untrained. I really believe it just takes the right kind of training to achieve any mental, emotional or physical state. Obviously there are certain limitations but I am blessed not to be impaired in achieving my potential. But I am slipping deeper and deeper into this stagnation. (Is it possible to slip while in stagnation? Doesn't stagnation mean to stay still?) I used to go by an edict that required me to make improvements on the past day, in whatever capacity. Run a bit faster or farther than yesterday. Eat healthier than yesterday. Be more productive than yesterday. Basically, do something better or with more intensity than I did it yesterday. This is no longer enough and I need to define my challenge better. I'm not sure exactly where or how to look for such a challenge but I am certain that something needs to change. The job will help in adding a bit of monotony to my day. I would normally consider this bad but I think it will be a useful guage and, at the very least offer more opportunities to improve. I will definitely meet new people which will open unpredictable doors. Okay here is a useful goals: demonstrate more focus in what I do. Fitness will be easiest to do that because I'm just trying to get back to what I was doing before. I achieved results beyond my expectations but was jolted in other areas which served as an excuse to fall off the tracks. Building my re-entry at the moment.
Well, I have enough to think about. You'll be hearing from me soon.
Well, I have enough to think about. You'll be hearing from me soon.
The Gym
Why do women wear make-up at the gym?
Why do the trainers at the gym not tell people when they are doing exercises incorrectly?
Why do people walk backwards on the treadmill?
Why do the most unfit people wear the most revealing clothes?
Why do guys try to do 3 painstaking chest presses of incredibly heavy weight with the accompanying grunts and groans? Surely they'd benefit more from lifting a weight they can handle for at least 8 reps with proper form.
Why do the meat heads in the weight room make a girl feel like she's just in their way?
Why oh why oh why do people in supposedly advanced spinning classes find it necessary to discuss their children during the class? How do they have the breath?
More to come but Scrubs is on.
Why do the trainers at the gym not tell people when they are doing exercises incorrectly?
Why do people walk backwards on the treadmill?
Why do the most unfit people wear the most revealing clothes?
Why do guys try to do 3 painstaking chest presses of incredibly heavy weight with the accompanying grunts and groans? Surely they'd benefit more from lifting a weight they can handle for at least 8 reps with proper form.
Why do the meat heads in the weight room make a girl feel like she's just in their way?
Why oh why oh why do people in supposedly advanced spinning classes find it necessary to discuss their children during the class? How do they have the breath?
More to come but Scrubs is on.
Monday, September 20
Information
On a less unstructured note, my interview went well. Better than I thought, apparently, as there was a message for me when I got home about taking next steps. Inshallah this move will be good. I also enjoyed a beautiful afternoon in a park on a swing with an old friend.
Secondly, I ate a very fattening dinner at one of the best steakhouses in the world. You probably know which one - they only accept cash or their own, privately issued credit card. I also didn't do any exercise today. I'm a little worried about this job because the hours won't permit me to work out in the morning, which is a routine that works very well for me. My energy is at an all-time low in the evenings. See how this might work out, maybe join a different gym that opens earlier? For some reason 4:30am doesn't sound as appealing as it should.
Thirdly, my parents are watching Da Ali G Show DVD with my dad's friend. Sasha Baron Cohen is absolutely brilliant and I love his message. Unfortunately his message is lost on the majority of his audience. Anyway my father thinks he is hilarious, being a bit of a political junkie, he finds the show especially entertaining. I saw some of his earlier shows when I was in England visiting the ape and I think Cohen hilarious, but for some reason I can't sit next to my dad and listen to punani jokes. So I'll sit up here and chuckle to myself instead. A little info that I find interesting on Sacha Baron Cohen: he has a degree in history from Cambridge University and wrote a thesis on Jewish involvement in the American Civil Rights movement.
Goodnight, mailbox.
Secondly, I ate a very fattening dinner at one of the best steakhouses in the world. You probably know which one - they only accept cash or their own, privately issued credit card. I also didn't do any exercise today. I'm a little worried about this job because the hours won't permit me to work out in the morning, which is a routine that works very well for me. My energy is at an all-time low in the evenings. See how this might work out, maybe join a different gym that opens earlier? For some reason 4:30am doesn't sound as appealing as it should.
Thirdly, my parents are watching Da Ali G Show DVD with my dad's friend. Sasha Baron Cohen is absolutely brilliant and I love his message. Unfortunately his message is lost on the majority of his audience. Anyway my father thinks he is hilarious, being a bit of a political junkie, he finds the show especially entertaining. I saw some of his earlier shows when I was in England visiting the ape and I think Cohen hilarious, but for some reason I can't sit next to my dad and listen to punani jokes. So I'll sit up here and chuckle to myself instead. A little info that I find interesting on Sacha Baron Cohen: he has a degree in history from Cambridge University and wrote a thesis on Jewish involvement in the American Civil Rights movement.
Goodnight, mailbox.
Why shoot yourself in the foot?
One of my father's University friends is visiting from the motherland. He is probably among my very favorites of my father's friends. I always enjoy his company partly because he is so funny, but I think mostly because my father is so happy around him.. and together they have caused and continue to cause quite a bit of trouble. Sitting in on a conversation with them always involves a great deal of laughs and that warm feeling that comes when good friends recall fond memories.
The main reason I really enjoy my father's friend is because of his strength of character. I don't think it is easy to explain how easy it is to partake in corruption in a poorly developed country. It is extremely difficult to be both wealthy and honest in such an environment, if not impossible. My father's friend has achieved both. His business is a family business, built over generations and he is living comfortably. The thing that strikes me most is his humility. He is extremely reverent but not in a fundo sense. He is an extremely funny and laid back and generous, but not in an irreverent sense. I don't know how better to describe the unique balance he has achieved.
Listening to him and my father speak and ask about their friends, I become extremely nostalgic for the motherland. There is something so real about being there, something so genuine. It is what it is. What it also is is extremely corrupt. People have to lie to survive, if you don't lie, you're virtually stuck in a downward spiral. My own family is part of the shrinking middle class. I suppose my dad's friend is as well, but he is closer to upper middle class. My uncle is involved in a development organisation founded by my grandfather that works to provide farmers with supplies at cost and train them to improve their techniques to reap higher yields and become self-sufficient. Literacy and preventive health training programs are also tied in, the latter due to my aunt who is a doctor. My uncle has to create the hoops, set them on fire and then jump through them to get anything accomplished. He needs permits for just about everything, which everyone is telling him to ignore but he is intent on doing everything properly. The people he has to deal with are worse than uninterested, they make everything he is trying to accomplish that much more difficult. What I don't understand is why a country with dire need for such efforts by people like my uncle is so intent on frustrating good intentions? People are constantly stealing from the country, from Generals to their sons to their aunt's cousin's nephew's dogs, the well-connected are getting fatter and fatter while the country is slipping farther and farther down the povery spiral. There is immense talent, and even will but the people who want to implement change, don't have the connections and the people who have the connections want to keep the status quo. Where do you go from there?
My father's friend asked my parents, who are both well-educated, why they left. People like them are just what the motherland needs. My mother says that she would never have been allowed to contribute on account of her being a woman, despite her talent and training. She graduated from the first computer science program offered in the country and went on to get her Master's from Canada on scholarship. She would be relegated to answering phones if she stayed there. Why does such a society plagued with poverty and stagnation perpetuate these attitudes of self-destruction? People who want to help are stopped dead in their tracks and the ones who keep choking the roots continue to do so unchecked. There was greatness once, and there is potential for greatness once more. I just wonder how long before it reaches breaking point and the state of development slips into a deeper circle of economic, social and political hell.
The main reason I really enjoy my father's friend is because of his strength of character. I don't think it is easy to explain how easy it is to partake in corruption in a poorly developed country. It is extremely difficult to be both wealthy and honest in such an environment, if not impossible. My father's friend has achieved both. His business is a family business, built over generations and he is living comfortably. The thing that strikes me most is his humility. He is extremely reverent but not in a fundo sense. He is an extremely funny and laid back and generous, but not in an irreverent sense. I don't know how better to describe the unique balance he has achieved.
Listening to him and my father speak and ask about their friends, I become extremely nostalgic for the motherland. There is something so real about being there, something so genuine. It is what it is. What it also is is extremely corrupt. People have to lie to survive, if you don't lie, you're virtually stuck in a downward spiral. My own family is part of the shrinking middle class. I suppose my dad's friend is as well, but he is closer to upper middle class. My uncle is involved in a development organisation founded by my grandfather that works to provide farmers with supplies at cost and train them to improve their techniques to reap higher yields and become self-sufficient. Literacy and preventive health training programs are also tied in, the latter due to my aunt who is a doctor. My uncle has to create the hoops, set them on fire and then jump through them to get anything accomplished. He needs permits for just about everything, which everyone is telling him to ignore but he is intent on doing everything properly. The people he has to deal with are worse than uninterested, they make everything he is trying to accomplish that much more difficult. What I don't understand is why a country with dire need for such efforts by people like my uncle is so intent on frustrating good intentions? People are constantly stealing from the country, from Generals to their sons to their aunt's cousin's nephew's dogs, the well-connected are getting fatter and fatter while the country is slipping farther and farther down the povery spiral. There is immense talent, and even will but the people who want to implement change, don't have the connections and the people who have the connections want to keep the status quo. Where do you go from there?
My father's friend asked my parents, who are both well-educated, why they left. People like them are just what the motherland needs. My mother says that she would never have been allowed to contribute on account of her being a woman, despite her talent and training. She graduated from the first computer science program offered in the country and went on to get her Master's from Canada on scholarship. She would be relegated to answering phones if she stayed there. Why does such a society plagued with poverty and stagnation perpetuate these attitudes of self-destruction? People who want to help are stopped dead in their tracks and the ones who keep choking the roots continue to do so unchecked. There was greatness once, and there is potential for greatness once more. I just wonder how long before it reaches breaking point and the state of development slips into a deeper circle of economic, social and political hell.
Sunday, September 19
Watching the Media
Okay so my stated purpose is to seek the nature of truth. Such a task is so amorphous sometimes I lose sight of what it is I am trying to do. I am not so presumptious as to seek Truth as I am still curious if such a beast exists. I don't mean this in a druggie sort of way. I mean that so far, all I have come across are truths.
I don't have time to explore this specific issue now, but I want to share this important website: mediachannel.org. This is one among many that strive to hold the media accountable. I find this site particularly comprehensive because the advisors are so broadly based and come from different fields ranging from academia to activism to journalism itself.
I'm sure this isn't the last time I write about either of these topics, but don't have the energy now. Keep well.
I don't have time to explore this specific issue now, but I want to share this important website: mediachannel.org. This is one among many that strive to hold the media accountable. I find this site particularly comprehensive because the advisors are so broadly based and come from different fields ranging from academia to activism to journalism itself.
I'm sure this isn't the last time I write about either of these topics, but don't have the energy now. Keep well.
Preparation
Interview tomorrow. Second for this one position and trying not to be nervous. No matter how it goes, it's not going to make me a better or worse person. Just a job.
On a different note, registered for a 5k run in October. There is a half marathon in October as well, but I think I need more training before I can take that seriously. Marathon in a year? Smells like a goal to me. Maybe I can document my progress here. You wouldn't mind, would you?
On a different note, registered for a 5k run in October. There is a half marathon in October as well, but I think I need more training before I can take that seriously. Marathon in a year? Smells like a goal to me. Maybe I can document my progress here. You wouldn't mind, would you?
Saturday, September 18
Hijacking Catastrophe
This is brilliant. I wonder how many or how few have actually sat through and listened to this.
Surrounded by Stupid
I gave in to Jenna's calls and went bowling and for a meal with her, her boyfriend and her boyfriend's friend. It smelled like a setup to me but she swore it wasn't. The entire evening was a waste of time, I was counting the minutes until I could go home.
Her boyfriend's friend, the Tool, thought he was something. He kept shouting 'WHHAAATTT" at random intervals for no reason whatsoever. He also continued to randomly dance to the ridiculous music.
At one point he actually said: "You may have noticed that I am a little different. So what do you think of these glasses, should I keep them on?"
Me: No.
the Tool:That's what I thought- but then everyone else told me I should wear the.
It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. Even I'm not that heartless. Beside,s I was more focused on my budding score of 38.
Me: I thought you were unique, do what suits you.
the Tool:Yeah yeah, I am unique, but you know, everyone kept telling me to wear them.
I have to say the topper of the evening was Jenna asking me about my necklace, which is a replica of an ancient tablet found in Syria. It says Allah in Arabic and has the ayat al-Q'ursi on it but too small to read. Anyway this was the conversation, or at least the jist of it:
Jenna: What is that, that's really pretty. Is it like the Bible?
Me: No, I wouldn't wear something from the Bible around my neck. It says Allah and has a prayer written in Arabic.
Jenna: Oh. Don't you read the Koorraannnn?
Me: Yes.
Jenna: So you know that guy they're trying to find? That guy... like, that guy who did the attacks. That guy...
Me: Osama bin Laden?
Jenna: Yea him! Why did he do what he did? Doesn't he like want to convert everyone into what he believes in?
Me: I don't really know why he did what he did. He's a fanatic. A lot of people think those attacks were done for different reasons. I think it had more to do with revenge for America's policies in the Middle East. Thousands of people have died and continue to die because of American actions in the region but no one really shows interest or seems to care about it. I think this had to do with that more than with religion. I personally don't think it had much to do with religion at all but a lot of other people do.
Jenna: (Wide-eyed) Why, what do you mean America does stuff in the Middle East?
The Tool also made a showing in this department. He asked me what language my parents speak, and then asked: "What country is that?"
I swear, I don't know how these people manage to breathe. I encounter crap like this on a regular basis. You wouldn't believe how many people have told me how well I speak English. I don't live in the sticks either - I live very close to New York City in one of the wealthiest cities in the US. You would think that with so much exposure and so many resources, people wouldn't be so moronic.
I have spent time travelling in China and while I was in some of the most rural villages I met people much more aware of the world than I meet here. I worked in a University in central China for awhile and the students I met were infinitely more aware than the students in classes at my prestigious alma mater. They were not only more aware, they knew how to process information. Perhaps it is because they regularly receive filtered, and often false information and are restricted from internet access. That still leaves me with the pressing question: how is it that the people with the most freedom are such idiots? Is it because they take everything for granted? Or maybe because they think they know everything they need to know. I think it's simpler than that.
They just don't care.
Her boyfriend's friend, the Tool, thought he was something. He kept shouting 'WHHAAATTT" at random intervals for no reason whatsoever. He also continued to randomly dance to the ridiculous music.
At one point he actually said: "You may have noticed that I am a little different. So what do you think of these glasses, should I keep them on?"
Me: No.
the Tool:That's what I thought- but then everyone else told me I should wear the.
It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. Even I'm not that heartless. Beside,s I was more focused on my budding score of 38.
Me: I thought you were unique, do what suits you.
the Tool:Yeah yeah, I am unique, but you know, everyone kept telling me to wear them.
I have to say the topper of the evening was Jenna asking me about my necklace, which is a replica of an ancient tablet found in Syria. It says Allah in Arabic and has the ayat al-Q'ursi on it but too small to read. Anyway this was the conversation, or at least the jist of it:
Jenna: What is that, that's really pretty. Is it like the Bible?
Me: No, I wouldn't wear something from the Bible around my neck. It says Allah and has a prayer written in Arabic.
Jenna: Oh. Don't you read the Koorraannnn?
Me: Yes.
Jenna: So you know that guy they're trying to find? That guy... like, that guy who did the attacks. That guy...
Me: Osama bin Laden?
Jenna: Yea him! Why did he do what he did? Doesn't he like want to convert everyone into what he believes in?
Me: I don't really know why he did what he did. He's a fanatic. A lot of people think those attacks were done for different reasons. I think it had more to do with revenge for America's policies in the Middle East. Thousands of people have died and continue to die because of American actions in the region but no one really shows interest or seems to care about it. I think this had to do with that more than with religion. I personally don't think it had much to do with religion at all but a lot of other people do.
Jenna: (Wide-eyed) Why, what do you mean America does stuff in the Middle East?
The Tool also made a showing in this department. He asked me what language my parents speak, and then asked: "What country is that?"
I swear, I don't know how these people manage to breathe. I encounter crap like this on a regular basis. You wouldn't believe how many people have told me how well I speak English. I don't live in the sticks either - I live very close to New York City in one of the wealthiest cities in the US. You would think that with so much exposure and so many resources, people wouldn't be so moronic.
I have spent time travelling in China and while I was in some of the most rural villages I met people much more aware of the world than I meet here. I worked in a University in central China for awhile and the students I met were infinitely more aware than the students in classes at my prestigious alma mater. They were not only more aware, they knew how to process information. Perhaps it is because they regularly receive filtered, and often false information and are restricted from internet access. That still leaves me with the pressing question: how is it that the people with the most freedom are such idiots? Is it because they take everything for granted? Or maybe because they think they know everything they need to know. I think it's simpler than that.
They just don't care.
Friday, September 17
Friendship
I have this friend called Jenna. Obviously she's really not called Jenna and in fact, she's really not a good friend. I've known her since my pink banana seat bicycle days and, along with another friend *not* called Natasha, we used to make up adventures by this creek near our elementary school. I distinctly remember hunting sharks in a 5-inch creek. Natasha was the most level-headed of us, she was also the only other person I knew while growing up who wasn't white or black. Our close bond was first formed when we both started playing soccer at the age of 6 and had no idea what we were doing. Our parents dropped us off to practice one grey day and left us to our own devices. Everyone else on that team knew each other since birth and we were the brown outsiders. After standing around and waiting for everyone to get there, our coach gave a little first-practice speech, and told us to split up according to what position we wanted to play. I remember hearing the word 'wing' and thought: 'maybe I'll get wings and be able to fly', and eagerly stood in line. I generally took things literally at that age: when someone would complain about 'cutting in line', the image in my head was of a person cut down the middle and the offender standing in between the halves. I was similarly put off when our teacher announced we were going to the gym. To me, gym sounded like the Arabic jinn which means spirit or demon. I conjured up images of a giant, hooded beast and refused to go anywhere near the gym.
Anyway, as our first soccer season went on, we started hearing words like 'defense' and 'offense' and had no idea what they meant. We came to rely on each other in our state of cluelessness and became inseparable for quite awhile. As it turned out, Natasha and I ended up playing soccer together until we graduated high school. In keeping with our brown tradition, we were both the smartest in our Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Calculus classes, and we were always confused with each other because all brown people looked alike in a school full of WASPS, Jews and the token Hispanic and black kids. Natasha is the only Zoroastrian I know and I am constantly trying to weasel my way into an event at her Temple because they sound like a lot of fun, and you just can't go wrong surrounded by a bunch of Persians. She is also the only person from my relatively small hometown who I stay in touch with. She fills me in on the gossip and who's come out of the closet and the like.
Anyway, this post was meant to be about Jenna. Jenna moved to a neighbouring town just before we entered high school. She was never that far away, only about 5 miles but our lives went in completely different directions from then on. She met up with a bunch of skaters and stoners and became too cool for the likes of me and Natasha. Before Jenna moved, she was one of the fastest girls on the track team, an unbelievably talented writer and artist and hard-working student in the subjects that didn't come easily for her. After she moved, things were completely different. Upon meeting her new friends, she was smoking both pot and cigarettes regularly and had lost interest in any form of education. She introduced me to my first punk shows and although I love the music now, at the time I never felt more out of place. I was never outgoing enough to feel comfortable around her friends. Natasha had stepped out of the scene at this point - she and Jenna both realised their differences would preclude any semblance of a close relationship. I tried though. Jenna's new friends were total idiots. Jenna's mom used to call my mom crying because of something Jenna had gotten into and my mother would encourage me to support Jenna to take steps in the right direction. We went through the rest of high school with me distancing myself, Jenna doing her own thing for months and then calling me out of the blue crying about her latest disaster. I went off to college, Jenna stayed at home and waited tables, dabbled in and out of local community colleges, battled with depression and was hospitalized more than a few times for trying to kill herself. She also took increasingly dangerous drugs, drank heavily and took anti-depressants. She also had a nearly fatal battle with meningitis she contracted from someone she met on a family holiday.
So whenever I came home from Uni or travelling, Jenna would be sure to call and if I had time during my short visits home, I'd meet up with her. All I came away with was frustration - she has created so much crap for herself and the way she handles it is the way a 4 year old might handle a playground fight. Constantly reassuring herself she's the victim: her parents are making her life miserable, someone said this about her and this guy cheated on her. Now this is my first time being at home for an extended period of time and she's calling me regularly to make plans to do something. She has also taken steps to fix her situation, realising that she needs some education to make any sort of progress in her life, she's been sober for about a month now meaning no alcohol and no illegal drugs. She's in a stable relationship for what seems like the first time in her life. She's using an arsenal of support: therapist, psychiatrist, group therapy.
The problem is I'm not interested in hearing what she has to say. She still has mini-dramas that she has to call and share with me and I really just don't care. I've never been an overly personable person - if I'm interested in someone and their ideas and so forth, I'm quite the charmer but I have never had the knack for small talk and making friends with people simply because I feel obligated to. I just never had an inclination to make an effort with someone who's company I'm not initially drawn towards. Now, with Jenna, I know that I'm probably her best friend in the sense that my advice is the best she can receive from any of her friends. I just don't want to deal with her shit, I don't enjoy conversations with her as she usually talks about things that were obvious to me 8 years ago and irritates me in general. Maybe I should be a good person and be there for her, but I am avoiding her calls. I don't want to encourage her friendship because I feel like I have to, and to be honest it's a liability for me. She calls at all hours, rambles about her latest drama and then stops for a brief "how are you?" and then goes on with her story. I'm not quite sure how to tell her that I don't want to spend time with her, I keep avoiding making a commitment but I'm tired of making up stories. It's weighing on me because I've come to dread her phonecalls and spending time with her and my mother is trying to make me feel guilty for avoiding. When it comes down to it, I'm not interested in a charity friendship. She knows what she needs, she has all the tools. It's time for her to wake up and I don't want to give her any more time or energy than I already have. I guess it's pretty cold and I'm generally a helpful person. I just don't have any sympathy for anyone who doesn't have enough self-respect to help herself.
Anyway, as our first soccer season went on, we started hearing words like 'defense' and 'offense' and had no idea what they meant. We came to rely on each other in our state of cluelessness and became inseparable for quite awhile. As it turned out, Natasha and I ended up playing soccer together until we graduated high school. In keeping with our brown tradition, we were both the smartest in our Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Calculus classes, and we were always confused with each other because all brown people looked alike in a school full of WASPS, Jews and the token Hispanic and black kids. Natasha is the only Zoroastrian I know and I am constantly trying to weasel my way into an event at her Temple because they sound like a lot of fun, and you just can't go wrong surrounded by a bunch of Persians. She is also the only person from my relatively small hometown who I stay in touch with. She fills me in on the gossip and who's come out of the closet and the like.
Anyway, this post was meant to be about Jenna. Jenna moved to a neighbouring town just before we entered high school. She was never that far away, only about 5 miles but our lives went in completely different directions from then on. She met up with a bunch of skaters and stoners and became too cool for the likes of me and Natasha. Before Jenna moved, she was one of the fastest girls on the track team, an unbelievably talented writer and artist and hard-working student in the subjects that didn't come easily for her. After she moved, things were completely different. Upon meeting her new friends, she was smoking both pot and cigarettes regularly and had lost interest in any form of education. She introduced me to my first punk shows and although I love the music now, at the time I never felt more out of place. I was never outgoing enough to feel comfortable around her friends. Natasha had stepped out of the scene at this point - she and Jenna both realised their differences would preclude any semblance of a close relationship. I tried though. Jenna's new friends were total idiots. Jenna's mom used to call my mom crying because of something Jenna had gotten into and my mother would encourage me to support Jenna to take steps in the right direction. We went through the rest of high school with me distancing myself, Jenna doing her own thing for months and then calling me out of the blue crying about her latest disaster. I went off to college, Jenna stayed at home and waited tables, dabbled in and out of local community colleges, battled with depression and was hospitalized more than a few times for trying to kill herself. She also took increasingly dangerous drugs, drank heavily and took anti-depressants. She also had a nearly fatal battle with meningitis she contracted from someone she met on a family holiday.
So whenever I came home from Uni or travelling, Jenna would be sure to call and if I had time during my short visits home, I'd meet up with her. All I came away with was frustration - she has created so much crap for herself and the way she handles it is the way a 4 year old might handle a playground fight. Constantly reassuring herself she's the victim: her parents are making her life miserable, someone said this about her and this guy cheated on her. Now this is my first time being at home for an extended period of time and she's calling me regularly to make plans to do something. She has also taken steps to fix her situation, realising that she needs some education to make any sort of progress in her life, she's been sober for about a month now meaning no alcohol and no illegal drugs. She's in a stable relationship for what seems like the first time in her life. She's using an arsenal of support: therapist, psychiatrist, group therapy.
The problem is I'm not interested in hearing what she has to say. She still has mini-dramas that she has to call and share with me and I really just don't care. I've never been an overly personable person - if I'm interested in someone and their ideas and so forth, I'm quite the charmer but I have never had the knack for small talk and making friends with people simply because I feel obligated to. I just never had an inclination to make an effort with someone who's company I'm not initially drawn towards. Now, with Jenna, I know that I'm probably her best friend in the sense that my advice is the best she can receive from any of her friends. I just don't want to deal with her shit, I don't enjoy conversations with her as she usually talks about things that were obvious to me 8 years ago and irritates me in general. Maybe I should be a good person and be there for her, but I am avoiding her calls. I don't want to encourage her friendship because I feel like I have to, and to be honest it's a liability for me. She calls at all hours, rambles about her latest drama and then stops for a brief "how are you?" and then goes on with her story. I'm not quite sure how to tell her that I don't want to spend time with her, I keep avoiding making a commitment but I'm tired of making up stories. It's weighing on me because I've come to dread her phonecalls and spending time with her and my mother is trying to make me feel guilty for avoiding. When it comes down to it, I'm not interested in a charity friendship. She knows what she needs, she has all the tools. It's time for her to wake up and I don't want to give her any more time or energy than I already have. I guess it's pretty cold and I'm generally a helpful person. I just don't have any sympathy for anyone who doesn't have enough self-respect to help herself.
Thursday, September 16
Mediocrity
I've been flipping through some blogs.. and there are a few that I really enjoy that are so cleverly written and actually insightful. What I don't understand is the number of incredibly popular blogs that document the unimaginative details of unremarkable lives. There is also the plethora of authoritative opinions on the presidential candidates and requisite slating of opposing liberal or conservative views.
The latter two categories, which seem to constitute the majority of the blogosphere are beyond my coprehension. Why do stupid, boring, average peope have an insatiable need to share their mediocrity? I guess the response to that is don't read then.. but really, when you're bored and on the hunt for intelligent life you can't help but be frustrated by these irrelevant people sharing their irrelevant lives.
I miss being in academia.. I don't miss the work but I miss the mental challenges. I guess that's the real reason I started this blog.. to write out what I'm thinking and see what it is exactly... revisit it and check for leaks.
The latter two categories, which seem to constitute the majority of the blogosphere are beyond my coprehension. Why do stupid, boring, average peope have an insatiable need to share their mediocrity? I guess the response to that is don't read then.. but really, when you're bored and on the hunt for intelligent life you can't help but be frustrated by these irrelevant people sharing their irrelevant lives.
I miss being in academia.. I don't miss the work but I miss the mental challenges. I guess that's the real reason I started this blog.. to write out what I'm thinking and see what it is exactly... revisit it and check for leaks.
The Nile
Okay I'm knackered. I've been sleeping so late and getting up like 12 hours later.. usually my internal alarm goes off after exactly 8 hours of sleep but not when I sleep at an obscene hour. I'm sick of writing this dissertation. I spend so much time putting it off the pressure drains me before I manage to do any work. Why oh why am I such a lazy idiot? I wonder if my advisor will still accept it. I haven't heard from him in weeks and I have strong suspicions the deal is done. I'm truly fucked then. Well I'm not contacting him unless it's with essay in hand.. wow denial is such a beautiful state.
This is denial, yo.
This is denial, yo.
Wednesday, September 15
Boys will be boys
This is comedy... I can't believe he actually got arrested.
I remember some of my Arab friends telling me that if guys harassed girls in Saudi and got caught, they'd get their heads shaven and pictures in the papers as reprimands. It's actually a pretty serious problem in many parts of the world, probably intensified by public separation of unrelated males and females in many Muslim countries. When I go back to the motherland, it is impossible to go out without one of my cousins or aunts or uncles with me.. if there is no male with us the harassment is ridiculous. I mean I know I look good.. but they bother everyone. It's not uncommon to hear a slap and cursing in a crowded area - invariably some slimeball pinched an arse or something. My mother has told me of stories of women in full burqua and having their arses pinched only to turn around and find out the offender is a son or brother or something.
I always dress traditionally when I am in the motherland - it is infinitely more comfortable than Western clothes, especially in the heat. I often see local girls trying to look Western or modern in tight ass pants and shirts.. and even tight versions of traditional dress and am embarrassed for them because of all the stares they receive from the men. It's an interesting phenomenon - the men are more aggressive and make you feel uncomfortable even if you're fully covered in loose clothing in the East but in the West you can wear a belt as a skirt and a tubetop and not be made to feel nearly as uncomfortable. Maybe in the latter case that's because you're soliciting the attention? I think it has more to do with the taboo-ness of sex and it goes back to wanting what you can't have.. or never have. That said, I've heard some shocking stories about underground activities.. but they are so perverse and just sad that I don't want to believe they're true. They probably are though.. I'm just naive.
I remember some of my Arab friends telling me that if guys harassed girls in Saudi and got caught, they'd get their heads shaven and pictures in the papers as reprimands. It's actually a pretty serious problem in many parts of the world, probably intensified by public separation of unrelated males and females in many Muslim countries. When I go back to the motherland, it is impossible to go out without one of my cousins or aunts or uncles with me.. if there is no male with us the harassment is ridiculous. I mean I know I look good.. but they bother everyone. It's not uncommon to hear a slap and cursing in a crowded area - invariably some slimeball pinched an arse or something. My mother has told me of stories of women in full burqua and having their arses pinched only to turn around and find out the offender is a son or brother or something.
I always dress traditionally when I am in the motherland - it is infinitely more comfortable than Western clothes, especially in the heat. I often see local girls trying to look Western or modern in tight ass pants and shirts.. and even tight versions of traditional dress and am embarrassed for them because of all the stares they receive from the men. It's an interesting phenomenon - the men are more aggressive and make you feel uncomfortable even if you're fully covered in loose clothing in the East but in the West you can wear a belt as a skirt and a tubetop and not be made to feel nearly as uncomfortable. Maybe in the latter case that's because you're soliciting the attention? I think it has more to do with the taboo-ness of sex and it goes back to wanting what you can't have.. or never have. That said, I've heard some shocking stories about underground activities.. but they are so perverse and just sad that I don't want to believe they're true. They probably are though.. I'm just naive.
Our way of life
What does it exactly mean, our way of life? I would think it refers to certain standards and morals that are upheld in a society. Importantly, these standards are arrived at through years and years of experience, they don't come in a handbook. In the States, way of life is largely directed by what people want to do and how they want to express themselves. I suppose that comes under the broad umbrella of freedom. But what if people want to live in a more structured society? Is their right to pursue such a society less valid than Americans' desire for no-holds-barred type of approach?
I personally don't support what the Taliban perpetrated in Afghanistan, nor what Saddam Hussein did in Iraq.. nor what the Saudi family has constructed in the Arab peninsula - these societies were/are based on fear and suppression. But why do Americans think that all women want to work? That all women want to wear as little as possible? Personally, I don't want to work long-term. I really believe my husband, insh'Allah should provide for our family should we be so fortunate. Part of that is based on my belief on how a family should be structured. Any biology book will show you that men and women are different.
This is going off-topic. My point is, who should decide how different people should live - how they should structure their way of life? In the States, the status quo is constantly being challenged and, as a result, is constantly evolving. The current debate over gay marriages is an example. In the Middle East, there are different norms and historical legacies which have shaped the contemporary cultures of the region. While it is not unreasonable to assume that democracy and freedom and fundamental rights are universal goals, it is important to understand that they can be expressed in a variety of ways. The only way these ideals can possibly be recognized in any real sense is if they are developed from within the socio-cultural context. This can only happen if the governing forces and their mukhabarat are dampened. It is such an ignorant notion to think that people don't want what Americans have but equally ignorant to think that they want everything the way Americans have it.
So maybe it's not so much 'they hate our way of life' but more like 'they just want to live their way of life'.
I personally don't support what the Taliban perpetrated in Afghanistan, nor what Saddam Hussein did in Iraq.. nor what the Saudi family has constructed in the Arab peninsula - these societies were/are based on fear and suppression. But why do Americans think that all women want to work? That all women want to wear as little as possible? Personally, I don't want to work long-term. I really believe my husband, insh'Allah should provide for our family should we be so fortunate. Part of that is based on my belief on how a family should be structured. Any biology book will show you that men and women are different.
This is going off-topic. My point is, who should decide how different people should live - how they should structure their way of life? In the States, the status quo is constantly being challenged and, as a result, is constantly evolving. The current debate over gay marriages is an example. In the Middle East, there are different norms and historical legacies which have shaped the contemporary cultures of the region. While it is not unreasonable to assume that democracy and freedom and fundamental rights are universal goals, it is important to understand that they can be expressed in a variety of ways. The only way these ideals can possibly be recognized in any real sense is if they are developed from within the socio-cultural context. This can only happen if the governing forces and their mukhabarat are dampened. It is such an ignorant notion to think that people don't want what Americans have but equally ignorant to think that they want everything the way Americans have it.
So maybe it's not so much 'they hate our way of life' but more like 'they just want to live their way of life'.
confusion
Well that was a long post.. not a bad start to a predictably long, drawn out thought process. It doesn't do well to try to manage so many different identities in one's own head.. even if that head is shaped like an apple. I remember sitting in a lecture about how different circumstances invoke different loyalties and our identities - woman/feminist; student; Muslim; American; Asian; golfer; surfer - all bear their own multifaceted heads under different situations, and at times may even conflict. The concept seems pretty self-evident but it was articulated really well and better than I just explained it. The speaker, a brilliant man, has become one of my heros of sorts, he has fairly accomplished much of what I'm interested in and he just exuded kindness. Anyway, I need to write out my personal confusion because, well, it confuses me. Maybe later, when I have some work to do I can do that to procrastinate. I don't think I've ever heard of that before - planning out procrastination.
Okay, well I need to do some work and possibly bake some cookies.
Okay, well I need to do some work and possibly bake some cookies.
Islamo-fascists
So on the radio today I heard a self-professed right-wing nut speaking about the Islamo-fascists. He corrected a caller who used the term 'terrorist' to say 'Islamo-fascist' because well, "that's what they are". He and his callers were bitching about Muslims renting out Six Flags amusement park for an American-Muslim day. I guess you can't go if you're not a Muslim on that day. I can't be arsed to research the details, you have google. As far as I know Six Flags is a privately owned park, and is available for just about anyone to rent out - why are they complaining?
Anyway, so I'm Muslim. I grew up here in the lovely US of A but was born in a war-torn, poverty-ridden country in Asia and my parents came here when I was very young. The thing is, I want to say they came here to build a better life, but to be honest with you, neither of my parents' families were poor back in the motherland. By the grace of God, they are both well-situated. Neither are rich, mind, but they are happy and hard-working and well, living. My parents came here because my father's well-known employer wanted him here. My highly educated mother was also quickly employed and my youth was spent riding pink banana-seat bicycles and making snow angels.
Anyway, so I'm Muslim and I'm fairly young. Somewhere in the transition of being a socialist with a bleeding heart to a young, budding capitalist with a penchant for travel and German cars. For me, my religion is extremely personal. I don't discuss it because what I feel and believe to be true is something so dear to me, I guess I feel like I'm violating myself if I try to have a conversation about it. That doesn't mean I love all Muslims and hate non-Muslims. Actually, there are few Muslims I feel some sort of spiritual connection with, and probably do so with more non-Muslims. The total number is pretty small, I don't connect with many people. Getting to the point, yea so terrorism as the talking heads are defining it is perpetrated by Muslims. As I define terrorism, the majority of terrorism is being carried out by governments, many that are sanctioned by Bush and some that are not. It's all a sense of perspective, deciding for yourself what is worth fighting for and then if the means justify the ends.
What sends me through the roof is listening to these morons spouting about how 'they hate freedom, our way of life, everything we stand for' blah blah. Now wait a minute there chief, stop and think. Can you really honestly believe someone hates freedom? And I also suggest you ask what exactly you stand for. Freedom? Care to specify who's freedom? Since when does anyone have a monopoly on freedom? Maybe upon closer consideration, you might find it sensible to get off your high horse. These words, although real in an objective sense, have been twisted and turned into having these normative implications they end up meaning something almost entirely different than their initial intentions. The more I listen to the news, watch the news, read the news that is generated in this here United States, the more I realise this is a society controlled by fear. It's classic state-building theory - create a monster and internal divisions will dissolve and you will have unyielding support for whatever it is you want to pursue. Congrats GW, even though Yale was a loss on you, you have some heavy hitters in your closet. He knows what he needs to do to keep himself in place. This is the same tactic used by despots and tyrants all over the world. Create a bigger monster than yourself and you will be trusted.
Anyway, so the new buzz-word is Islamo-fascist. Even though I've been raised here and actually didn't know another Muslim outside my family until I went to University, I've never felt so not American as I have since September 11. I mean obviously there were subtle cultural differences and smells that separated my house from my friends but no one gave it much thought. Since 9/11, however, it's a completely different story. The more I listen to people speak about terrorism and Islam and Muslims and the Middle East, the more I want to scream at the top of my lungs. The scariest part is, I wonder if this is how the process begins.
For the record, I think the political system of this country is pretty brilliant. In theory, it supports equality and freedom for everyone and that's just too precious to discount. The level of accountability, though very far from adequate, is probably the best in the world but the sense of arrogance puts these great achievements in deep shadow.
This probably didn't make sense, I'm sure I'll get better as time goes on.
Anyway, so I'm Muslim. I grew up here in the lovely US of A but was born in a war-torn, poverty-ridden country in Asia and my parents came here when I was very young. The thing is, I want to say they came here to build a better life, but to be honest with you, neither of my parents' families were poor back in the motherland. By the grace of God, they are both well-situated. Neither are rich, mind, but they are happy and hard-working and well, living. My parents came here because my father's well-known employer wanted him here. My highly educated mother was also quickly employed and my youth was spent riding pink banana-seat bicycles and making snow angels.
Anyway, so I'm Muslim and I'm fairly young. Somewhere in the transition of being a socialist with a bleeding heart to a young, budding capitalist with a penchant for travel and German cars. For me, my religion is extremely personal. I don't discuss it because what I feel and believe to be true is something so dear to me, I guess I feel like I'm violating myself if I try to have a conversation about it. That doesn't mean I love all Muslims and hate non-Muslims. Actually, there are few Muslims I feel some sort of spiritual connection with, and probably do so with more non-Muslims. The total number is pretty small, I don't connect with many people. Getting to the point, yea so terrorism as the talking heads are defining it is perpetrated by Muslims. As I define terrorism, the majority of terrorism is being carried out by governments, many that are sanctioned by Bush and some that are not. It's all a sense of perspective, deciding for yourself what is worth fighting for and then if the means justify the ends.
What sends me through the roof is listening to these morons spouting about how 'they hate freedom, our way of life, everything we stand for' blah blah. Now wait a minute there chief, stop and think. Can you really honestly believe someone hates freedom? And I also suggest you ask what exactly you stand for. Freedom? Care to specify who's freedom? Since when does anyone have a monopoly on freedom? Maybe upon closer consideration, you might find it sensible to get off your high horse. These words, although real in an objective sense, have been twisted and turned into having these normative implications they end up meaning something almost entirely different than their initial intentions. The more I listen to the news, watch the news, read the news that is generated in this here United States, the more I realise this is a society controlled by fear. It's classic state-building theory - create a monster and internal divisions will dissolve and you will have unyielding support for whatever it is you want to pursue. Congrats GW, even though Yale was a loss on you, you have some heavy hitters in your closet. He knows what he needs to do to keep himself in place. This is the same tactic used by despots and tyrants all over the world. Create a bigger monster than yourself and you will be trusted.
Anyway, so the new buzz-word is Islamo-fascist. Even though I've been raised here and actually didn't know another Muslim outside my family until I went to University, I've never felt so not American as I have since September 11. I mean obviously there were subtle cultural differences and smells that separated my house from my friends but no one gave it much thought. Since 9/11, however, it's a completely different story. The more I listen to people speak about terrorism and Islam and Muslims and the Middle East, the more I want to scream at the top of my lungs. The scariest part is, I wonder if this is how the process begins.
For the record, I think the political system of this country is pretty brilliant. In theory, it supports equality and freedom for everyone and that's just too precious to discount. The level of accountability, though very far from adequate, is probably the best in the world but the sense of arrogance puts these great achievements in deep shadow.
This probably didn't make sense, I'm sure I'll get better as time goes on.
Tuesday, September 14
Hello Big Brother
Yoh!
So I've just wasted the good part of an hour messing around with this. I set up this invisible counter thing because I like numbers and I'm just curious if anyone reads this. I am so surprised to see the kind of information available about people who visit a website. I can tell where you're coming from, your browser, how long you linger (lurk?) and your mother's natural hair colour. Well I suppose this isn't really news to anyone else but - as Borat would say - wawawewa, I don't want people knowing where I am. I'm never going to another webpage again.
So I've just wasted the good part of an hour messing around with this. I set up this invisible counter thing because I like numbers and I'm just curious if anyone reads this. I am so surprised to see the kind of information available about people who visit a website. I can tell where you're coming from, your browser, how long you linger (lurk?) and your mother's natural hair colour. Well I suppose this isn't really news to anyone else but - as Borat would say - wawawewa, I don't want people knowing where I am. I'm never going to another webpage again.
beginnings
This is an experiment on myself. I want to speak and release my personal tension. I don't like speaking to people because my belief that no one really listens or cares to really think about anything is confirmed on a daily basis. I tend to write complicated sentences because I want to convey meaning. I want to read back on this and see just what the hell it is that I am thinking, because standing inside, it is impossible to see how everything ultimately comes together. Maybe in some time that will become clearer to me.
I think this is a good place to get some of my thoughts out, develop my writing and logical reasoning skills. How is that for a statement of purpose? I'm a student, I grew up in the States, did my undergrad in Boston and decided to piss off to Australia for a year and do a Master's while I was at it.
I've really come to despise Americans and the thought of going back to the States had me stressed out for quite awhlie... the arrogance, the ignorance, the attitudes... I don't know. Yes, I have received the "if you don't like it, leave" quite a few times, which I happily did, mind you... and have enjoyed myself and the release from a society that believes cnn and fox are truth... although must admit that while ABC (Aus Broadcasting) is pretty clueless, there is not nearly the same level indoctrination here, about what to think and who to criticise and there is no crap about "partiotic duty" aside from Peter Costello (Aus Treasury Minister) telling Australians that it is their patriotic duty to make babies. Anyway I've been back for a little over two months and it hasn't been all bad, mostly because I've focused on my own goals and largely ignored the constant streams of stupidity I have been encountering on a daily basis.
Not sure where I'm going with this, so maybe I'll go on another day. Just testing the waters in this world of blog for now.
I think this is a good place to get some of my thoughts out, develop my writing and logical reasoning skills. How is that for a statement of purpose? I'm a student, I grew up in the States, did my undergrad in Boston and decided to piss off to Australia for a year and do a Master's while I was at it.
I've really come to despise Americans and the thought of going back to the States had me stressed out for quite awhlie... the arrogance, the ignorance, the attitudes... I don't know. Yes, I have received the "if you don't like it, leave" quite a few times, which I happily did, mind you... and have enjoyed myself and the release from a society that believes cnn and fox are truth... although must admit that while ABC (Aus Broadcasting) is pretty clueless, there is not nearly the same level indoctrination here, about what to think and who to criticise and there is no crap about "partiotic duty" aside from Peter Costello (Aus Treasury Minister) telling Australians that it is their patriotic duty to make babies. Anyway I've been back for a little over two months and it hasn't been all bad, mostly because I've focused on my own goals and largely ignored the constant streams of stupidity I have been encountering on a daily basis.
Not sure where I'm going with this, so maybe I'll go on another day. Just testing the waters in this world of blog for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
