Little Miss Grumpy

I haven't had anything to post about the past few days. Well I guess I did, but who can be arsed? I think I had really stupid expectations of work. And the election, but I'm still trying to come to terms with the prospect of Bush and company for another 4 years so more on that later.. or never. Anyway, work. I guess I expected people in the real world to have it more together. Students.. don't have much to live up to. You can sit around, literally do nothing for weeks on end. Write a few papers, speak a bit of bull, and all is well. Maybe develop a few non-marketable skills and irrelevant knowledge along the way. There isn't much to it.

Work, on the other hand, entails a whole different skill set. Unfortunatley this set doesn't include a personality. I have been hugely disappointed, and it's my own fault and my own arrogance. I thought that people would be witty and intelligent. And that people would think before they speak. I thought I'd be the dumb one in the group but that's not proving to be the case. I'm really disappointed. This is really bad stuff to say out loud so I'm saying it here. I know, I'm not exactly Little Miss Have It Together, but I generally stumble in the right direction. I was looking forward to a professional environment where people strive and are challenged and challenging. Everywhere I look, I see complacency. Granted this is the very initial training and everyone who is joining the huge organisation starts off here so a lot of different fields are lumped together, I won't necessarily be with these people later on. So I should stop whining. Did I really expect such a generative environment?

In truth, I'm really excited about starting to work. I know, it's not cool to be excited to work. I know, I'm just naive. Yes, thanks. The thing is, I sometimes stumble across really remarkable people who are remarkable for different reasons, but they are interested and engaged in whatever they're doing. Where do these people breed? I'm sick of being bored out of my mind. The ape is in freaking England and we're going to be apart for at least a year, aside from visits. I've read some really interesting blogs on here, but limited in opportunity to pick brains. What happened to the art of conversation? Did it ever really exist? I hate hearing the obvious over and over again. Just like I hate those stupid logo bags. If you are going to charge a $800 vinyl or cloth bag that has the letter G plastered about, you might as well get a T-shirt that says 'I'm original' so the rest of us aren't left with any doubt. Better yet, tattoo it on your forehead so as not to cause any confusion on laundry day. Grow an imagination. I'm most definitely in the wrong field, this is hardly the breeding ground of creativity. So where do I find the balance?

Right, my writing ability has gone to the shitter. Sorry my brain is scrambled. I haven't been getting any sleep and that is probably my highest priority after chocolate, of course. I'll be better soon, but until then I leave you with this mess.