Circles

The more I try to think about what to post here, I realize that I need to develop some kind of direction for this blog. I don't want it to be as random as it has been yet I don't want to make it into a project. I'm not sure what it is I'm looking for. Maybe some sense of structure? Right now I'm pretty much left to my own devices during the days and just hang out with my parents in the evenings if I don't go out. After the fiasco this weekend, I don't know how 'up' I will be for frolicking in the city.

I feel drained, but that's probably due more to being ill than anything long-term. I'm just feeling really lazy and uproductive. I've worked on my dissertation but I'm so detached from it now, I have become increasingly resentful towards it and my advisor for not taking a role in its development. I know that I may be passing the blame for not doing the work, but I never even received acknowledgement, much less feedback on the earlier work and drafts that I sent to my advisor. Only one random email that yes he received it, when can he expect the next section - no feedback on the content. Yea, I didn't get back to him on that either. It's my essay, not his I don't really have a leg to stand on here. It's much closer to being completed though and while I'm pretty happy with it, it's nothing groundbreaking. I know I shouldn't be settling for this but fuck it.

The ape. I don't write about him much because I am having a lot of issues with him. I don't even know where to begin and if I even want to start. I haven't made much of an effort to speak to him which he has been making easy because his schedule is pretty chock full. I am scared to admit to myself that I may not be happy with where we are. I don't know if this is my mood, issues with living at home or something substantial. I am tired of thinking about it. Living inside my own head without much of an opporunity to speak to trusted friends isn't very healthy for me. Actually, I know I'll be okay.. well, more than okay once I get through this transition.

I've lost interest in this post for now, and want to do some work so I'm going to cut out here. I still don't know how to approach this blog or what purpose I want it to serve. Cheerio, friends.