Goals

I just entered into a 5K race because I need a reality check. The race is in one month and I used to run 10 miles in under 90 minutes so this is not unattainable, even for a chub like me. The thing is, I have to be dignified when I do it because I'm sure to see people from my tormented childhood and I have to be better than them. Childish, small-minded, but as long as it motivates my arse to get into shape I don't care how immature I am being. I'll have a not-so-soft arse and that will be that. So, C, I'll get your bloody book and maybe do it while being able to hear my heart explode within my very ears. Happy?

In other news, I have still not found a job that I want .. or more likely, the job that wants the apple has not yet found me. I had a chat with an old friend I met during one of the coolest internships anyone can ask for, and he told me to .. shit I don't remember what he said. I think it was something about getting in everyone's face, which is kind of what I have been doing - harassing everyone I know but they all think I'm a joker. I mean, who pisses off to Australia for a year to do a useless degree? That's what they are asking me and I don't have the response timed quite right. Speaking of useless, nothing I am trained in is good for anything. I should have been one of those business students I used to snicker at. They're doing what I want to do and I'm sitting here with my face pressed up against the window. Except they're much stupider and smarter than I all at the same time. Practical has only recently entered my vocabulary and has a direct correlation to my increasing levels of grumpiness. The more often I incorporate it in my thoughts, the grumpier I am. Since when is it not okay to take a trip to 'find myself'? I didn't use the cookie cutter program and now they're punishing me. Stupid bastards, I resent the world they live in yet I want to join it. No room for me, I don't think. Not sure quite where to turn. All I know is that if I stay where I am past December, I may never quite recover from this nightmare.